FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
