Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
