What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
