nutella sex= disaster
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
