You're completely useless in the revolution.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
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We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
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Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize