I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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