She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Randomize
