I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
you had me at cake vodka
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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