Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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