Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
