whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
