I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
