Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
