So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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