dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize