you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize