Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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