Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
