therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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