anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize