are you still at the devil's house?
i already hear my dad disowning me
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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