And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I pour the whiskey from now on
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
