First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
