I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Dignity is for republicans.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
