why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
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