Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
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