shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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