we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
