Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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