I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
