you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
