If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
