Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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