ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
my liver is dry heaving
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Randomize
