She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
