If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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