i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
how does that bad decision feel?
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