did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
