Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
