Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
