If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
