paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
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