yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
