Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Randomize
