I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am full of burrito and curiosity
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize