how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
