i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
