VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
