Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
