It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
