Sry I called you an 8
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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