Sry I called you an 8
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
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