The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
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And to think..we used to do everything sober...
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
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I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
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