Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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