So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
oh god the rape fog is back!
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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