I'm gonna have a badass scar
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
