Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
