I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Alive.
So much puke
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
