Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
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