I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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