ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize