I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
