just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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