I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize